Santa's Elfen Safety Fascism - Christmas Special
"As winter finally arrived last week I spent hours blocking off the icy blast that creeps under my front door and around my windows. Having done that I went out Christmas shopping, only to find that the chain stores all keep their doors wedged open.
I looked about me into the dense fog shrouding my high street shops and rubbed my chin with frozen fingers. Something didn’t make sense. At Gap Kids, thinking I could do something to stop this madness, I shut the door behind me. But moments later a member of staff quietly wandered over to open it again.
I asked for the manager. When she appeared I gave her a brief overview of climate change and added that even if she didn’t believe carbon emissions will kill us she would anyway save money on utility bills, to the satisfaction of head office and shareholders, if she shut the doors.
She was sympathetic: I wasn’t the first person to tell her this. A woman had come in recently and talked hysterically about polar bears dying out. She said her staff got terribly cold but they couldn’t shut the glass doors in case somebody walked into them by mistake or even on purpose. “They might sue.” "
So there we have it; the big battle between the 2 great behomeths of the modern age. Climate Change Fascism and Elfen Safety Fascism. And the winner is ... in the blue corner ... Elfen Safety Fascism! Who gives a toss about the planet tomorrow when someone may sue you today.
Towcestarian's verdict. Lets have exploding glass doors to cull shoppers too stupid to avoid bumping into them- bring back a bit of natural selection into our dismally shallow gene pool.